Self-Denial as a Tool for Self-Improvement
When was the last time you thought deeply about … *Notification – Mom just posted a new picture of her meal at the new restaurant* … Sorry about that, we were talking about the last time … *Notification – Reminder about your upcoming trip* …
The constant pinging, flashing lights, and notifications competing for your attention, urging you to interact, have become a way of life. Each headline and email are a momentary distraction and adds to your seemingly endless to do list. In our desire to find relief, we self-indulge in increasingly hedonistic pursuits. We bury our anxieties in food, alcohol, TV, shopping, and our phones. This creates a cycle of seeking reprieve in the very behaviors that are driving our sensory overload. So-called hedonic adaptation is the phenomenon that we experience when we no longer gain the same feelings of happiness or pleasure from actives after prolonged exposure. In addition to the inability to enjoy daily pleasures, we have lost the ability to concentrate on tasks that demand our attention.
Numerous studies have shown the perils of a distracted life. Researchers at King’s College in London discovered that the constant barrage of work emails resulted in an average IQ loss of 10 points (more than double the fall found in studies of cannabis users). A litany of studies indicate a causality between technology usage, particularly smart phones, and attention, memory, knowledge, cognitive functions, and gratification. The technology we use to write and interact with media may take “part in the forming of our thoughts” as Friedrich Nietzsche claimed after purchasing a typewriter. Researchers have also found a link between self-denial and well-being by combating hedonic adaptation.
This past January, I committed myself to 90 days of prayer, asceticism (avoidance of indulgence), and fraternity. As a guide, I used a program called Exodus 90. In many ways an analogue to a deployment, Exodus 90 leveraged social bonds (fraternity) and denial of material pleasures (asceticism) to allow space to focus on the mission (prayer). The most difficult part of the program was committing to one hour of silent prayer each day. This was toughest in the beginning of the program because I lacked the attention span to sit silently with my thoughts. Over the course of 90 days of self-denial, primarily from non-essential technology, I was able to regain some of the concentration and creative thinking that I lost long ago with my first smart phone.
The Exodus 90 ascetic disciplines fit into three categories: physical, mental, and dietary. The physical ascetic disciplines include taking short, cold showers; regular, intense exercise; and getting a full night’s sleep. Many studies show the benefits of these disciplines. Sleeping and exercise are perhaps the two most positive actions you can take to regain control of your ability to concentrate. By sleeping 7-8 hours a night and regularly exercising every morning, you’ll work with, not against, your body’s circadian rhythm. In addition to the cognitive benefits of sleeping 7-8 hours, you will feel more rested, allowing you to tackle problems and challenges as they come. With regular exercise and sleep, you can gain control over your emotional response to stimulus allowing you to prioritize what is important. For most people, cold showers are the biggest literal and figurative shock of Exodus 90. While unpleasant at first, I found myself adapting and looking forward to cold showers in the morning. The cold shower helped me become alert and prepared for the day ahead.
Your first weeks without the immediate reward of short, pithy headlines to occupy your boredom are difficult.
The mental ascetic disciplines include abstaining from television, movies, televised sports, video games, non-essential material purchases, and non-essential computer or smart phone use. Abstaining from technology is the most important negative action you can take to regain your concentration. For most people, these disciplines are the most impactful on their lifestyle. My wife and I routinely watch television every night after our children are in bed and I find myself on my phone consistently throughout the day (and night) checking Facebook, the news, texts, and YouTube. When coupled with the physical disciplines, abstaining from technology offers your mind the space to think deeply and concentrate on the task at hand. However, reaping the benefits of the ascetic disciplines requires practice. Your first weeks without the immediate reward of short, pithy headlines to occupy your boredom are difficult. To fill the space and begin to rebuild your concentration and creativity, you’ll need to practice mindfulness and consume long form media. Meditation offers the ability to sit with your thoughts and restore your focus. Long form media, such as books and articles, exercise your ability to connect to the written word and engage with the author. As you read, take the time to ponder the author’s words and build mental connections.
The physical and mental ascetic disciplines can help you regain your concentration, while the third ascetic discipline will assist in recalibrating your sense so you can regain the pleasures of daily life. Practicing dietary ascetic disciplines can enable you to rebuild your reward system. The Exodus 90 dietary ascetic disciplines include abstaining from alcohol, desserts, sweets, eating between meals, soda, and sweetened drinks. Additionally, participants fast two days a week. The dietary restrictions are an important component to building discipline in your daily life and regaining an appreciation for the “finer things.” People report higher levels of happiness, mood, and savoring when they have restricted their access to sweets. Leveraging this knowledge, by practicing dietary disciplines, you can create reward mechanisms to reinforce positive behaviors in your life while gaining greater satisfaction. As an added benefit, a beer never tastes quite as sweet as it does after 90 days of denial.
Your ability to recalibrate your hedonic adaptation and regain your concentration depends largely on creating a support network. In the Exodus 90 program, you build a “fraternity” of 4-6 other people to help you remain accountable. Accountability comes in weekly meetings to discuss setbacks and by selecting an accountability partner for a daily check in. As you prepare to disconnect, find a battle buddy that is willing to hold you accountable. It is equally important that you enlist your family in your pursuit. This should look like phone calls to catch up, instead of memes in the family chat. You may need to have a discussion with your spouse or partner about dietary changes you plan to make. Once you build a network that is empowered to help you see when you are over-indulging, you have the foundation necessary to take on the ascetic disciplines.
As you prepare to disconnect, find a battle buddy that is willing to hold you accountable.
Soldiers routinely, albeit against their will, practice these disciplines while deployed. The result is the longing for the “simpler” days of a deployment after returning home. Free from the distractions of daily life, capable of focusing on the mission at hand, and surrounded by battle buddies, Soldiers are able appreciate the privileges modern life affords. We don’t have to wait for a deployment to enjoy the benefits of a life of asceticism. Leader’s must learn to practice a disciplined life of asceticism to maximize their potential and ability to lead. In turn, leaders at all echelons can help model behavior and teach Soldiers the benefits of the ascetic disciplines. Perhaps most impactfully, during critical training events, have your Soldiers leave the phones behind to boost retention of newly acquired skills.
Ironically, at the time of this writing, work emails, text messages, Facebook reels, and the Clemson/Washington soccer game were routine distractions. After turning away from my distractions to focus on writing, I spent 45 minutes skimming and browsing through abstracts and articles related to this topic. Each distraction sapped valuable time I did not have available. Now as I near the close, I wonder how much more I might have accomplished by turning off my notifications. Well, time for another beer I suppose.
About the Author:
Beau Wasson is an active duty Army Engineer officer serving as the Operations Officer of the 84th Engineer Battalion in Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.
* The opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not represent those of the Army, the Department of Defense, or any part of the U.S. government.